Recap of my 2020

 What. A. Year.

Just when we thought 2020 will be awesome as there will be flying cars everywhere cough uhuk cough, the Wawasan 2020 manthra that we heard about since we were kid, and yet much bigger thing came into our lives.

It is called Covid-19, and everything changed. 

January

This is when some of us already heard about the virus spread in Wuhan. i was one of them, kept myself updated with the news from the MSN article in my office every morning, as i was fascinated how something i watched in KMovie is actually happen in real world (referring to "Flu" K-Movie).

While many of us didnt have a chance to go oversea this year, somehow i managed to go to Singapore at the end of January with the kids (we planned this since Dec19 pre-covid). During that time, Malaysia have like 2 or 3 cases only, and so do Singapore. Were contemplated whether to cancel the trip but somehow we still went there haha, with mask on, hand sanitizer and zero of using MRT. 

The trip went great as there were less people already, I've never went to USS with that kind of crowds -  i mean no crowd lol. We managed to covered 100% of the rides without queueing and by the time we went to our hostel, the Grab driver told us that Singapore will close the border at 12am. Gulp. But never the less, we had fun and Alhamdulillah, nothing bad happened and semua sihat sihat, and little that we know that it was our last oversea trip for the year.

mask on

see how kosong USS was

seems like no one in front of Shrek's palace as well

& here were it started; picture with mask on the chin hmmmm

goodbye Singapore .. for a long time maybe.

February

My parent were suppose to go to Mekah for Umrah, with my aunts, uncles and cousins, but on the morning of 28th Feb, there were news from Saudi yang akan tutup their border so dekat rumah lagi kitaorang dah macam .. still boleh fly ke tak ni? the news was fresh from oven sampaikan even the travel agency haven't received the notice yet. So pangpungpang the mutawif ask us to still go to airport since no notice yet and the early morning flight was granted to fly (parents flight was on the evening side), but after 8hours waiting at KLIA, the trip was cancelled ultimately. Kesian jugak la dengan all the jemaah umrah, some of them are from Perlis, Kedah so dah halfway to KL and now had to go back home. But at the same time, i was quite relief sebab we heard the morning flight need to u-turn back to Malaysia as imigresent wont allowed them to enter, lagi haruuu weh naik flight back and forth for the long journey.

after 8 hours waiting in KLIA

Also, Malaysia has changed the government (again!) but tak sempat nak bising mana lah on the politics, Covid19 cases spiked really fast in Malaysia and people focus are no longer on this.

March

By the mid of March (18th of March), things had started to shift. Malaysia announced our own first total lockdown (MCO). From there, everything were either cancelled or postponed, we need to work at home, we no longer dine-in outside but had deliveries instead, and yadada yada.

As for our family, we heard a bad news where my uncle was positive Covid19 and was intubated in ICU (we learned that he's the first Malaysia case for intubation for Cov19). Since masa tu case were still not that bad, we did received quite of number of update from the doctors in HKL sebab sekarang ni dengar cerita doctors cant even update the family members on the condition due to so many patient in ICU. Alhamdulillah after 2months plus, he's survived and now is as healthy as before.

April - Jun

At this point, I was still fairly optimistic that this could be back to normal. But as March melded into April, and April faded into May and so on, it was obvious that COVID-19 wasn't going to just disappear, and we just need to embrace and get used to the new norm.

We even had our Cov-Eid on May, everyone cant went hometown due to sekatan negeri for Hari Raya Aidil Fitri, and mosques were not open for the prayers. Fortunately, our family members are all staying in the same neighbourhood so we did have our own family gathering for Solat Raya and simple makan makan. Definitely felt different as no one sleepover at our home on Malam Raya, no friends or relatives are coming to celebrate together but Alhamdulillah, still a happy Eid for us.

solat raya with SOP 

sembang-sembang with SOP 

siblings minus sister at Germany.

the grandhildrens

yes, all of us are staying in the same neighbourhood / Taman perumahan

 hence we are not breaking any rules LOL.

On June, i was informed that my Hajj was officially cancelled, so does the whole world. To be honest, i kind of expected it since March lagi. But thats okay, always believe in Allah’s plan. Kalau Dia dah kata kita bukan tetamu nya, cukupla duit dalam tabung haji macam mana pon, dapatla offer letter macam mana pon, is He says no, means no. Takde rezeki lagi. 

July - Oct

The restriction are being uplifted slowly as our case even become 0 on July. wowwww gilaaa kan? Eventhough for a very short time, but we managed to go for a local trip to several states - Port Dickson, Melaka, Ipoh, Perak and Genting Highlands, Pahang, Terengganu and Kelantan during this time .. until the case spikes again like nobody business.

Port Dickson

Melaka

Ipoh, Perak

        

Pulau Kapas, Terengganu

Genting Highlands, Pahang

balik kampung, Kelantan

November - December

We are back to work from home, stay at home situation, but it was really not effective anymore. As we couldn't longer hold on the economic situation, the strict lockdown couldn't be implemented but rather "KitaJagaKita" approached where the netz should adhere the SOP while living a new norm (which i dont think really works). Nothing much happened during the last month of the year except it was my birthday on December haha.

On thoughts of my 31st Birthday, the few days before the day i was really bad mood. Tak tahu la kenapa, is like i dont like being 31 years old. Haha. Macam why so old maaaaaaaaan? My intention this year was not to let people know when my birthday is, i want to keep it by myself no celebration no present puhlease, so i was reluctant when my mom ask what i want to eat so she can ask my family to celebrate, and i was being very moody the whole week lololol. 

But seems like my friends doesnt give a damn about it, i got a lot of surprise deliveries from my friends. i still received surprise present as at this week lol. Thank you all for the thoughts and loves, belanja makan, cakes, handbags, facial set, perfume, flower, sushi delivery, ice cream delivery, Jovian mask, tote bags. i appreciated it very much. Sayanggg lebihhhh.

                  video was made on the 1st Dec, hence some of the present were not included. sorry guys.

so, thats it.

2020, a year where to remember.

As for my self, i did learn few things: Gratitude, Resilience and also Trust.

Be grateful on what we have, be resilience to every changes, and to trust Allah for all the things that happened, insya Allah jangan stress stress okay everyone. Hoping for a good 2021 since the vaccines are on their way, and we could get back to a better norms, Amin.

 

Goodbye 20s. Goodbye 2019.

Almost two years tak blogging, but i decided to write this in my blog. i knew what i feel now might not be the same in future, but just for my own reading / reference in future, this is how you felt Fannie, on this date.

it's the end of 2019, 31st December 2019. & tomorrow it's a new year, where you basicly will need to tell people you are 31yo. i just lost the whole one year this year because i still think i am 29yo just because my birthday is in December where actually i'm already 30 in 2019. lol. But it really hit me today that i'm no longer in my 20s.

Just for my reference (Fannie in future, if you suddenly feel loss in your life), at this moment, i finally could say to myself that i'm genuinely happy with my life. When i said i'm happy, doesnt mean that there's no challenge in my life, nope tak. My life is still full of shit, setbacks and changes but at the same time i'm truly happy. Kind of contradicting kan? 

In the past years, i was depressed, confused and i tried to fix everything and pull myself together but my life didnt get any better, instead i cried at night thinking why i couldnt pull myself back again. And one day, i decided to stop. Yup. I stop to fix my life, i stop to be better. 

I started to let my life unfold by itself, orang kata go with the flow. i started to lower my expectations towards life and tried my best to accept the reality and the disappointments as well. for example, i accept that i will always be fat as long as i have my thyroid problems, i accept that my friends would not be with me everytime as everyone have more commitment, i accept that i am not really good in handling people at work so i dont go for any managerial role anymore, and i also accept that i might not even get marry in this life (wow, macam ade next life lak kau pikir lol)

It wasnt easy seriously, as i always want the best of me. At that moment, it become one of the lowest point in my life but surprisingly, i did overcome it. it was like a turning point. i started to cut toxic people out of my life, i started to care less about things that wont help me in life, i kept my circle of friends small, i started to understand the thing people always said; "some thing are not meant to be yours, will never meant to be yours". Ni kot orang cakap 'cukup dah makan garam' & it feels so nice.

It took me 30years to finally realised this, and i am really happy that i'm finally come peace with myself. I hardly become stress over small things nowadays. Friends bailed me out last minute? okay go wayang alone. Boss needs me to settle works at wrong time. just say no. No one is free for holiday, ok go alone. Home wifi buat hal, ok tidor esok baru fikir. Job no longer satisfy you. ok hantar notice berhenti and starts look for new job. People judging you? Takdehal. So what, you think i dont judge you also ke?. LOL. but admist all this, i really hope i dont hurt other people's feeling along the way because this thing will come back to you doh, seriusly. So with not heavy heart, lets bid to 2019, to my 20s, and to all miserable budak-budak kind of attitude. Annyeong.

i know in future, things might be different. But as for now, i'm going to enjoy this life with happiness. & i hope you also. Yes, you. Whoever reading this now.

Peace.

Solo Trip

Well, actually this is not my first solo trip pon. My first solo trip was to Singapore, i went there to watch Wanna One concert just by myself. Itupon impromptu habis. Sebab tibatiba organizer tambah additional seat kat concert tu, so on Friday dekat office, beli ticket concert, tiket bus, book hostel pastu balik rumah baru mintak permission parents haahahahha. Takdehalll Sabtu pagi terus gerak.

But this one kiranya solo trip yang jauh sikit lah. Asia je lah tapi nya. Member aku ada yang tanya apsal tak gi europe ke sebab aku cuti panjang. Hmmm alkisahnya kalau kawan kawan aku diorang semua tahu lah, walaupun aku nampak cam a bit slalu travel tapi sebenarnya aku ni takut gila naik kapal terbang. Takut since tahun MH17 MH370 punya kes tu lah, walaupun takde kaitan sangat dengan aku tapi entahlah pehal trauma sensorang -_-'. Macam kalau haritu pergi Germany tu pon 12 jam flight, 12 jam aku dengar Al Quran je dalam flight tu padahal belambak channel hahaha.  

So untuk trip kali ni, aku pilih gi Jeju je lah. Contemplating between Hokaido or Jeju (both tempat tak pernah pegi lagi), tapi last last pilih Jeju sebabb .... choices of foods and familiar environment? echheeeehhh pannggg kang.

what i ate in Jeju

Tapi nak dijadikan cerita banyak masalah pulak before nak pergi time tu, macam hint2 je suruh cancel. First is aku memang tak semangat langsung, aku tak siapkan itinerary aku pon padahal dah la Jeju tu bukan senang nak commute sebab takde subway semua, tapi aku cam whatever je lah. Pastu disebabkan perangai whateverrrr aku tu, aku terlupa check aku punya passport. Jeng jeng jeng.... Sehari sebelum raya baru aku check passport aku sekalikkkkk expired (tak cukup 6months before fly date) hambiiikkk berlarii bekejaran aku pegi imigresen tapi imigresen tutup sampai hari raya ke 4 which is date patut aku fly. Hmmmmmm...

Time tu tak payah cakap la badmud aku camne haha, raya pon rasa cam tak nak raya. So kesudahannya aku tepakse beli tiket one way baru (raya ke5). Raya ke4 kelam kabut la gi renew passport pastu beli tiket flight baru. Harga pon kira menangis je laahh dah beli a day before kan. Terima je lah.

Tapi bila dah sampai sana tu, seronok je wei. Serius aku tak sangka aku akan seronok gak cuti sorang, i mean best sebab kau boleh pergi ikut kepala kau je and ikut time kau. Nak stay one place kejap gila boleh, nak stay lame gile boleh, nak duduk layan perasaan lama lama boleh, and alhamdulillah la aku tak rasa pon macam sunyi je ke apa, sebab maybe dah biasa kot kat KL pon aku slalu jalan sorang sorang, makan sorang sorang, so aku tak rasa awkward langsung and aku memang jenis tak ambik tahu hal orang so aku tak tahu lah kalau ada orang judge aku apehal minah ni sorang2 ke? apsal die dok setup gopro bersungguh sungguh sorang ke hahah sebab aku memang dah lama jadi ignorance camtu so tak perasan pon orang keliling.

cam bese aku mls edit gamba..

Sampaiiilahhh hari ke4, aku sesak nafas demam panas gila pulak kat sana. Masya Allahhhhh musibatttt sungguh trip kali ni hahaha. Haaaa time tu baru lah cam.."i need someoneee", "camee nii?? camnee kalau mati kat sini?" hahahah. Nangis nangis haa whatsapp Kak Amy kat German sebab aku sesak nafas pukul 3pagi korea, 2pagi waktu Msia so German je siang time tu. Aku ade inhaler tapi aku tak reti guna sebab kalau kat Msia, aku sesak nafas camtu aku terus gi klinik depan rumah amik neb. So, dua hari yang terakhir tu aku tak pergi mana mana melepet dalam hotel je siap nak turun beli makanan kat kedai bawah pon rasa nak nangis tak larat tapi lapar punya pasal and takut mati punya pasal haha gagah je la turun beli porridge abalone kat convenience store bawah. Mission adalah nak sihat je time tu sebab takut nanti nak gi airport pon tak larat. Keciwaaa gak la sebab dah plan nak gi Udo Island and Sikbang amende ntah tapi takpela, health comes first.

Kiranya solo trip ni kira okayla untuk aku. short but meaningfull. It teaches me to become more flexible, more laid back, and more strong? Kalau before ni, aku sure paling susah hati kalau itinerary tak siap, tertinggal barang lah, pastu kalau sakit kaki pon aku dah risau. Tapi hambek kau kali ni, barang xyah cakap la, mount gopro takde lah, makeup tetinggal lah, strepsil tinggal lah, pastu sesak nafas sekali dapat satu pakej. Tapi Alhamdulillah survived je. Allah is with you, dont worry. :)

Hmm so okeylah pasni boleh gi Antartika terus dah, lets go. lol.

When you give up with your work, you quit the job
When you give up with your study,  you quit the course
When you give up with your partner, you left them
But
What if you give up with yourself, your life?
What would you do then?


I strongly believe every problem have a solution.
But seems like i cant find the right solution for the last problem.

End Year trip, 2017.

Aku jenis sangat jarang shopping barang, kalau aku shopping tu maknanya memang aku perlukan lah tu. And kadang kadang once aku dah shopping tu, barang aku beli tu a bit mahal sebab aku nak pakai lama. Like memang lama nak mati. Macam contoh, aku pakai jam tangan aku dari tahun 2011 sampai sekarang 2018 ilek tak tukar pon walaupon dah tak up to date. Baju baju pon selagi aku tak bertambah gemuk, memang baju yang sama la aku pakai sampai dah lunyai. 

Tapi nak ceritanya bukan pasal habit shopping, tapi nak ceritanya sebab orang asyik cakap aku ni asyik gi cuti je. Aku takde kaya mana eh tumbuk kang, yang berduit tu mak ayah aku. Aku ni hidup makan gaji macam semua orang jugak. Kalau aku pergi cuti ngan kawan kawan, nak bitaunya aku cuti tu pakai duit gaji yang tak gerak gerak tu lah. Sebab macam aku cakap, aku tak shopping. Aku tak abis bulan je gi shopping, paling lekeh aku gi makan sedap je. Dan Alhamdulillah aku dok ngan parents, so aku jimat bahagian beli barang groceries. Nikmat duniawi tuhan bagi kat aku, aku terima dengan syukurnya part tu. 

Every month lepas tolak semua monthly bills/loan, duit tuk mama papa, and saving 50%. Aku memang guna duit tu gi cuti. Tapi cuti yang simple simple, dekat dekat and haruslah berbudget. Aku rasa aku jarang sangat pergi cuti duduk hotel mewah ke apa. Sebab aku balik hotel untuk tidur and mandi je, korang dah kahwin kenala duk hotel best sikit sebab lama nak dok dalam hotel tu eehhh, aku takde makne janji ada aircond and katil empuk sikit dah ok. Bangun gosok gigi, mandi chalo. Kalau nak melepek main wifi sampai petang, takyah gi cuti lah. Booooo.. haha. So camtuh la cara aku pergi becuti, tak payah membawang cakap aku pakai duit mak ayah eh. Pang sekali kang. 

So akhir tahun lepas, aku decide untuk tukar kerja baru and aku ada gap cuti seminggu. So apaalagiiiii, terus berdesup message sape2 free nak follow kalau tak nak follow kita gerak solo; anddd taraaaaa sampailahhh ke Koh Lipe, Thailand.

aku pergi 4 hari 3malam, and Koh Lipe sangat kecik. Aku rasa aku khatam pusing satu Koh Lipe tu, dari Sunrise Beach ke Sunset Beach ke apa semua aku cover. Aku memang niat pergi nak jalan jalan bodoh je release tension, people watching gitu je so i dont expect anything pon lah.

Tapi sadly to say, aku rasa Malaysia punya island berganda gandalah cantiknya. Even snorkeling pon biasa biasa je lah, nothing impressive pon sepanjang kat sana bagi aku. So kalau rasa ada niat nak honeymoon kat situ, aku rasa cam tak payah lah. hahaha.

Tapi ape ape hal pon, kita share lah sikit gambar sepanjang kat sana.

So camtulah kisah ke Koh Lipe haritu, tak tahu lah nape lately ni asyik suka gi Pulau je. Dah tak kisah la sunburn ke apa, dulu aku tak suka gi Pulau sebab rasa boring skang ni rasa cam nak try jejak semua Pulau kat semua tempat pulak.. acahhhh. Perangai orang dah tua sangat ni.... kbai.